exact change only

So much is different than it was a year and a half ago that even posting all the changes in list format would be arduous and incomplete. Well, let's see what will come out:

Last time I was in New Jersey was August 2010. It fortified my soul and the visit was not nearly long enough. I went to Jessica (Chiarella) Voss' wedding, and saw my heart, Splissa, and stayed a few days with my Aunt Alice (who took us to NYC), went to Seaside (WAY too crowded since the last time I was there), got IHOP with some high school friends.......I think I really should live up there. It makes me so happy.

I finished my Associates of Science. I ended up majoring in Physics, and LOVED my professor, and the whole experience, really. I finally made some friends while I was there, and I love them. I made friends after school too, and got back in touch with a few I'd not spoken to in at least a year if not more. (Kellen, Calix, and Brandon come to mind.) They are all so wonderful, and I miss them...

...because I live in Virginia now. I couldn't afford to stay in Arizona. Despite my best efforts, things converged and pushed me back to my family. I guess that's alright though, because getting along is easier than it ever was (for reasons I'd probably be better off not going into). I hope I'm doing some good here. It's been so slow, but I'm trying.

And I found a job! Here in Virginia, the liquor stores are run by the VA Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, and are known as ABC stores. I got hired to work at our local one recently, and it's actually pretty fun. I like my coworkers and the patrons so far have been nice (sometimes overly nice, but it's been tolerable).

I brought Nibbler (the good kitty) with me when I came out here, and now I live with my good sister (Marian), so that's been pretty great. I have been back on speaking terms with the other sister too, and I guess we'll see how that turns out. It's been okay as of late.

I have been off the Ambien for a little while now. I've always had a hard time getting enough sleep though, and some nights are much worse than others. Sometimes I end up using benadryl or an otc sleep aid, but I'm trying to stay away from prescription stuff. It's just one less thing to worry about.

Within the past year, I converted to Whovianism. Erm, is that a word? I started watching Doctor Who. It is absolutely wonderous, and I can't really describe why...and attempting to do so would be incredibly silly. I've got Marian and my dad watching it, too, and that makes it a bit more fun.

The Doctor makes me feel less alone in the world.

On my way to Virginia (about a month and a half ago, now) I met my new friend Miles on my connecting flight from Houston to Greensboro. He was supposed to be a single serving friend, but facebook ended up thwarting that. He has told me I'm his best facebook friend and let me tell you, that's quite an interesting compliment. Don't you think so?

Well, that's all I have to say about the recent past. How do you even summarize a year and a half? By skipping over the big, strange things (like oh, say, a break-up) and concentrating on the more recent, innocuous things (such as what I wrote above), and pretty much skipping all daily minutiae. You just do not remember all of it. Your brain is not designed for that. Are all those little details even important? Was anything I just said important?

Having recently read some old blog posts from many years ago, as well as the old entries on this account, I'm finding that those little details I put in those blogs ARE important. Well, maybe not to others, but they are to me. When you look back at them much later, you read them and flinch or grin or get hit with an interesting memory you would never have found again if it weren't for that little reminder. Then, you wonder how many little interesting things throughout your day to day life you may have forgotten about, and are sort of glad you recorded those silly little things to look back at later. It's almost like reading about a different person, when it's something you don't remember well. How interesting is it to think of your past self as someone else entirely? Actually, all of this makes me wonder about my whole plane-hopping, insomnia-addled life, and how I've been feeling in the time I've been back here, looking at all of these dusty relics my mother saved from my childhood, half-remembered, pieces of the past I once ran from staring me in the face, as if I'd perhaps never left them and all that happened away from this place was someone else's reality...

"If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"

Smörgåsbord

Oh, sorry about that. I've been away for a while. The past couple months have consisted of one weird medical issue after another, and over the last few weeks I knew things would get better, but not until they got a little worse. It seems all is well for now, though, so I am back!

I still don't have a job. The more I talk to others, the more apparent it becomes that there really are no jobs out there. At all. It's really demotivating. Don't worry, I'm still trying. I can't just sit back and say "Oh well, I guess I'm not paying my bills this month!" Ah, if only. I got to see a former coworker today, Brian, at his new job. We caught up with each other and it was really nice. He also told me a bit about what was going on at our old Starbucks since I left, and it was kind of encouraging. I'm going to look into what he said, and I might just re-apply there, after all.

At the beginning of the month I did have a sort of odd job. Mike's parents went out of state for five days, and their two dogs stayed at our house instead of having to stay at the pet hotel. They gave me enough to pay my bills in return! It wasn't all that pleasant, however. Among other things, they were here while I was being treated for some sinus problems (as I mentioned, one of a few issues), and for some reason when I was around them, my nose got all blocked and it was harder to breathe. I'm glad Mike helped out with them. I offered to split the compensation with him, but he declined. He is a gentleman, when he's not thinking about it. Anyway, despite the setbacks, I greatly appreciated his parents giving me that opportunity, because they knew I needed it. Either way, I'm now officially a cat person.

It's almost time to register for classes! I don't know if I should do it as soon as possible, so as to make sure I get the ones I really want, or wait until I'm able to finish my FAFSA. I don't have to send my parents' tax information now, but I heard that it might help if I put down that my dad is a veteran. If I send that info, I also have to send their tax stuff and whatever else the financial aid people need. Well, it might be worth it; I need all the help I can get. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put the payment for the classes down as soon as you register for them, and I really don't have the money right now. Considering this, I should probably wait until all the financial aid stuff is taken care of before I register for any classes. The FAFSA deadline is sometime in June, so I do have some time. I've already waited this long, another month or two shouldn't be so bad.

Speaking of my parents, I'm back in touch with my dad. Well, I think we have sort of been talking for a couple months now, but it's slowly gotten to be more than just "hey how are you ok bye." He wants to collaborate on a book. It sounds like a good idea, but I've had no idea what to write, and he hasn't shown me any of what he's started, so maybe I should bring that up next time we talk. I mentioned that my new laptop has a webcam, so we've talked on that a couple times now. It's nice because I don't use up my phone minutes, and don't have to type all the stuff I want to say, and I sometimes get to see Marian (the good sister) and my mum. I miss Marian and worry about her on occasion (she's about to turn 14 which seems to make it impossible to get in contact with her) so it's really nice to see her.

My Aunt Alice finally got her other hip replacement surgery this month. Everyone was pleasantly surprised by how well she handled the anesthesia this time. Whatever new procedure the guy used, it was a good idea. She's still in the hospital doing physical therapy, and seems to be doing really well. I'm pretty bad at keeping in touch with people, but it's easy to talk to her and I find myself calling more or less regularly. I like to make sure she's still doing alright and get her mind off of being in the hospital, and she likes to hear about how I'm doing and how Mike and I are getting along and everything. I miss her a lot. We're planning on visiting her during our trip to New Jersey in August, and I know that will be fun.

A friend of a friend, Leigh, moved to Arizona a while ago, left, and just recently came back. He and I met up at the Tilted Kilt along with our respective significant others to catch up with each other. I hadn't seen him in about six years, and before that we didn't know each other that well. We had common friends back in the day though (including Jeremy, who is best friend to both of us), and we went to high school together. It was nice to sit with someone in person and reminisce, and talk about the different things that have happened in the past few years. His girlfriend seems really nice, and everyone seemed to like Mike and we all got along and it was fun. Now I need to make some time to visit with Lauren over at Luke Air Force Base, and Krysten, another friend from high school. It's hard when they live 30 or more minutes away, but we're they're both certainly worth it and I miss them so I'm going to try to see them soon.

So other than all this stuff, there are a few other boring things: practically futile research for picking out a new vacuum cleaner, borrowing chemistry and physics books from the library because I'm a nerd, and spending way too much time on the internet while still managing to avoid writing on here. I'll try to update on a more regular basis, but as I said before, I'm pretty bad with keeping in touch with others and that carries over, you know.

Small update

I haven't been writing on here much lately, since I haven't been taking regular Ambien anymore. Yay for the continuous release version. Just figured that I should say something, as I know at least one person reads this. Hi Alex. :)

Well, so far we have not given Sparkles a bath. She's still fat and filthy. Mike didn't feel like it today, but he said tomorrow. He's been saying that for over a year now. Tomorrow.....it WILL be done!! She'll be so pissed, but at least I'll be willing to pet her and maybe even let her lay in the bed.

Obviously, the other day when I finally got to the academic advisor, I'd missed the cutoff for the spring semester. I'm pretty good at that kind of stuff. On the bright side, I have plenty of time to prepare for fall semester, and perhaps even register for a summer class or two. I'm going to be, um, older in about a month, and I really need to get rolling on this associate's degree.

On Thursday, I went around, in person, to get applications for another job. Since I haven't been working since January, I've felt pretty bad about dipping into savings to pay bills and being a bit of a slacker and not earning my keep very well. I at least partially blame the old Catholic guilt. I'm pretty sure almost every place said something like "No, we're not hiring, but we're always accepting applications!" or, "We're not hiring, but you can still submit an application on our website!" Yay. Still poor. Should I attempt to go back to Starbucks? Still contemplating. I don't want to go back to my last store, but I've heard the other two local ones aren't as bad. We'll see.

I finally bought a collar for Nibbler. It's pink with cartoonish skulls on it. Very cute. Mike and I picked it out together, and he said this was one of the few that seemed to suit her. Okay, I guess. Did I mention that it IS very cute? Um, can you tell I don't have much to say today?

I haven't spoken to my family since my last update. I called my aunt the other day but I got voicemail. Then, I remembered that she's off ALL her pain meds because she has to go in for surgery, and she has to be off of everything for like a week. I know she has Lupus, and I think the other thing is Fibromyalgia or maybe something else. These, along with hip and maybe spine issues. Possibly more. If there's one thing she needs, it's her pain meds. I know she likes to keep in touch with me, but I wanted to make sure I was calling to be there for her, and not just complain or talk about myself. Hmm, I think I should call her tomorrow and see how she's doing. I'd hate to seem to not be there for her when she's not feeling well.

As for everyone else, well, I guess I can call them too.

Questions? Comments? Feel free to send any and all. Goodnight.

Doing things (or, Mike's Cat Has An Eating Disorder)

Today was a stay-in day. I called my Aunt Alice in Pennsylvania and had a nice long conversation with her, which I try to do on a regular basis. As usual, things at the household I left in Virginia are batshit insane, but while some of the things she told me were news to me, none of it was all that surprising. I called my mother too and spoke to her for a few minutes but she was busy making dinner at the time, so the call was unusually short. She informed me that everyone was doing well so at least there was that. I talked to Marian, too ("The Good Sister," as I refer to her) because, well, I like her. I also cleaned a little. I always feel a bit accomplished when I do that, because I'm so bad at doing it regularly.

I'm a little distracted at the moment. My cat, Nibbler, thinks that it's time to play. Therefore, she keeps pawing the laser pointer around the table until it falls to the ground. Sorry to tell you, honey, but that's not how you get the red dot to come out.

Plans for tomorrow are a bit more proactive. I have an appointment to see an academic advisor at Chandler-Gilbert Community College. As of now I'm working on an Associates of Science, but that is really because, though my **th birthday looms ahead, I have NO IDEA what I should be doing with myself. Among the top possibilities are engineering, some sort of nursing (probably anesthesiology), possibly medical doctor or nurse practitioner or physician's assistant, psychology..........um, I don't know. But I figured if I finished the A.S. while making sure the credits transfer to ASU, I'll be able to put something together sooner or later. I've talked to a couple of people who actually said that I don't seem like the engineer-type, as that career tends to be rather black-and-white and I seem too creative for that. Is this true? Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I'm creative but I don't know that all branches of engineering are that cut-and-dry. Well, they probably are. Looking back on this paragraph, you see why I need to meet with an academic advisor, don't you.

I am also in dire need of a job. I'm thinking part-time would be a good idea, as I'm trying to do school and all. I'm contemplating going back to Starbucks, but if I do, I'd probably go to a different store, so at least there's some sort of change. It would feel less like a backward step. Speaking of that, though, I'd prefer to at least make a lateral step instead, if not forward. Bookstore, pet store, grocery store. Something to pay my phone bill and help with groceries, and help pay for that trip to New Jersey in August. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it'll be better than no paycheck at all. I've already put in a lot of applications on careerbuilder.com, mostly office positions. Mike and I both think that's not the best option if I want to juggle school with work, but once again, need a paycheck. As long as someone hires me, I'll do my best to work with what I've got.

Well, the good kitty (Nibbler) has been fed, and the bad kitty (Sparkles) is in trouble for eating good kitty's food earlier and then throwing up in good kitty's room. (Sparkles is fat. Yes, she was still fed a portion of her usual dinner.) I mentioned this in a previous post, but must reiterate that I can't WAIT to throw Sparkles in the tub. She is 8 years filthy, and I will be filled with dark satisfaction, even glee, as she bitches and whines and scrabbles around while her fur is scrubbed clean. I can already feel the maniacal laughter bubbling up in me. Or, that might be the sleeping pills that I took before I started this post...so...

Now I'm going to bed. Feel free to muse upon these utterings throughout the night.

Today's challege: don't end a sentence with a preposition...while on sleeping pills.

So, the past few days have been fun. On Thursday when I went to Chandler-Gilbert Community College to see a school counselor they said they usually do appointments on Tues-Thurs and walk -ins Mon and Fri. I knew we'd be busy this weekend so I'm going to call on Monday for a Tuesday appointment. This is the demotivating part about school. I love to be in class learning stuff but getting everything rolling is a real pain. And don't even talk about Financial Aid. It's like trying to make your way though a waste-deep swamp but the people who are supposed to help you navigate out of there are all over the place and each speak a different language. Definitely need another counselor for that, too.

On my way back home from there, I stopped at the Starbucks where I worked until December. (54th St and Ray). To my surprise, Leah was still on her shift there! I waited around a half hour til she was off and we got to sit and talk about all the crazy Starbucks drama, good and bad. It was so nice to catch up with her. As I think I've made clear, I don't have many friends in this area. If Leah and I hung out more, I'm sure I would consider her one. I feel like I can always confide in her. I'm not sure if any of what I say to her goes around, but I'm sure it's not a big deal. I know the difference between friendly and cruel gossip and I don't think she's cruel about me. I guess what I'm getting at is, its really nice to just run into someone and get to talking when it doesn't happen very often. She even mentioned that I maybe could talk to the store manager about coming back to work there. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but she mentioned the other two stores nearby too, and I'm keeping them in mind if I don't have any better plans by the end of the week, or maybe sooner.

Friday, Mike and I went to Pita Jungle for lunch. We hadn't been there in a while. It was a bit crowded, but good. Afterward we walked around the waterfront for a bit (or "the puddle" as I call it, being from New Jersey). When we got home we did a few chores, and then sat back to drink wine and watch the Venture Brothers dvds I just ordered. It was great!

Today Mike and I finally re-caulked the bathtub!! We're waiting for it to dry now. I can't wait to be able to take a bath again. Much more fun than a shower. Even moreso, I can't wait to give his 8-year-old never bathed cat a good scrub-down. She'll bestow upon us the wrath of a nightmare kitty-hell, but it'll be worth it to clean her up, I swear. Anyway, winding down time today included watching more Venture Brothers, until Mike passed out and I put him to bed. Tomorrow we're going up to Glendale to his parents' house to say hi, and return some dvds we borrowed, and do our taxes, and hang out with their doggies. Not a bad time, generally. And as I mentioned before, it's nice to get out of the house and see people I know and to whom I can actually speak.

So I don't know about Monday. The only plans I have for then are to start up the job search again, and call to make an appointment with a school counselor. I am open to any other suggestions (job hunting or otherwise), or requests for meet ups, etc. I have been somewhat neglecting the Chandler Mall.

Ok, so, once the sleeping pills cause 5 typos per word, it's time to stop and go to bed, and just hope this all makes sense when I wake up in the morning.

Quick update

Hey there. Just got out of the shower, and listening to some Faith No More. The plan of the day is to go down to the community college and get someone to tell me which classes to take this semester to finish up this associates of science that's been hanging over my head. I have some financial aid papers that I never touched so I might need some help with that too. heh.

Other than that, no real plans. I'll probably get my eyebrows done and hang out at home for the rest of the day. Maybe put in some more job applications online, and such. Can't wait to get back into a classroom!

Please allow me to introduce myself...

Although I am not a man and have no wealth, I believe I have some taste. I am a somewhat open-minded girl in my mid-20s who loves music, and enjoys reading fiction. This is my second time living in Phoenix; this time it's been about a year and a half. My life here is pretty great, but the problem is that I am a somewhat unmotivated person, in a place I don't like all that much. This makes it difficult for me to meet people. I mean, I do know people through my boyfriend and his family and friends, but that's different than having your own friends, you know?

The thing that I feel would improve my situation would be to meet more people with whom I have something in common, who live in my city, or even my neighborhood. Hopefully this will be noticed soon by locals with whom I might have things in common. I am somewhat of a homebody, but sometimes I just need to get outside! And I have no where to go, and no one to accompany me. If you feel the same way, or would just like to add another person to your crew, please get in touch.

I hope I can keep this blog entertaining. I guess I can write about all the things I do, or better, all the things I WANT to do but have no idea as to go about them. Hey guys, maybe I'll ask for some advice over coffee, or video games, or such. See, that sounds like fun to me!

Okay, I have to end this now so my sleeping pills don't stop me short. I welcome well-wishers and well meaning questions and comments. Thanks for reading!